Saturday, October 31, 2009

It's Hallowe'en

This used to be one of my favourite times of the year but now it's just another day.  It's more for the kids anyway.  I am not dressing Julianne up this year, mainly because it's not like we can take her out trick or treating.  She won't eat the candy, so hubby and I would end up eating it and lord knows neither of us needs that.  Besides she can't say anything except mama, dada, dis, dat, or hi.  Not enough time to teach her to say trick or treat so we will wait for next year. 
I don't think Arie is much for hallowe'en either.  When I did stop for brief moments to look at potential costumes for her, he would just scrunch up his face.  He didn't have to say anything, it was obvious what he was thinking.  So alas, I will wait until next year to start this annual tradition.  I just hope she never wants me to make her a costume because that is where I am lacking.  Give me something to write about no problem, tell to make a costume or come up with an idea, ha, it will never happen.
Today it's so scary letting your kids out this time of year.  You have to be even more careful than when I was a child as there are that many more pedophiles and just bad people.  Or is it that the media makes you more scared?  That's very likely too.

Well, I think this is my post for the day.  Wait for more tomorrow.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

A Conflict At Work

Ok people...I am doing this free fall writing exercise as given by a friend and I got started but somewhere along the way, the story took a turn.  I would love some suggestions for the ending.  Here is what I have so far:

Barb ran into the office. She was fifteen minutes late again. She had already been reprimanded twice, and once more she would be written up. She didn’t see the big deal. It’s not like she planned on being late each morning. She just had a hard time with the traffic. She contemplated moving closer to work just to avoid the Deerfoot traffic every morning but she liked where she lived and she shouldn’t have to move just to appease her employer.

When she stepped through the door she was surprised at how quiet the office was. Where was everyone? As she rounded the corner, she saw several of her co-workers huddled in the corner, around Jaycee’s desk. Perfect, no one would have clue she had been late.

Barb slipped into her cubicle, dropped her jacket and purse then walked over the huddle. As she approached, the hushed whispers became clearer. “What was he thinking?” “I can’t believe it.” “I’m just speechless.” “What’s going to happen to the rest of us?”

“What’s going on?” Barb asked.

“Did you see your email this morning?” Jaycee asked.

“No why?”

“There’s an interoffice email going around. Check it out.” Jaycee turned her computer around so Barb could get a look at the screen.

“Oh my god,” she said. “Has Charles seen this?”

“I don’t think so. He’s not here yet.”

“Should we just get rid of it?”

“I think it’s too late for that. He’s probably already got it.”

“Who sent it?”

“Well that’s the funny thing. Somehow, whoever did this, was able to create a new user so there’s no name attached. It could have come from any one’s computer. This building is huge.”

“Surely they can trace the IP address.”

“Probably, but that might take all day. We’re probably going to be called into the office one at a time until someone confesses.”

“That’ll make for a fun day.”

“Unless someone just comes forward and gets it over with.”

“I doubt that’s going to happen.”

“Sssshhh, here he comes.”

And that is where I am lost.  What is it that is on the computer?  Does it have to do with Charlie or is it something else completely different?  Suggestions please.
And no, there is no prize for the best ending, just my gratitude.  :)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Take A Deep Breath

Just when I thought I was going to lose it, I told myself, take a deep breath, be patient, it's no big deal.  Cereal all over the floor.  Yes, Julianne has this wonderful habit of not wanting to eat her food out of a bowl or off of a plate.  Instead she tips everything over so she eat it off the table or her high chair tray.  This morning it was the table.  We are trying to teach her to eat at the table like the rest of us but unfortunately the table doesn't go as far in as the high chair tray.  So this morning as soon as she got a hold of the bowl of cereal I gave her (no milk) it was all over the floor in seconds.  For a split second I wanted to scream but I gained my composure and realized, kids will be kids and this is the way she likes it.  Even though it means I will be down on the floor cleaning up every last tiny little morsel.  It was no small mess that's for sure but I was proud of myself for staying calm and just going with the flow.  Sorry for the cliche.

For some of you, that I know are reading this, this might be a deterant for having your own children, but it all comes with the territory.  Take from it what you will.  It's just a tiny setback or annoyance within all the great reasons for having a child.  There are good days and there are bad days.  It comes down to choosing which ones are going to be the good ones and what things you are going to let bother you.  Granted there are days that you just can't avoid it.  The days you want to pull your hair out and ask, what the hell was I thinking.  But in the end it is still worth it.  So far anyway.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What happened?

What happened to the 5-10cm of snow that was forcasted for Calgary.  It was supposed to snow all night and we would all awake from our slumber to find a beautiful winter wonderland.  Ok, I am making it sound nice only because we don't have it.  If we did have it, this would be a completely different blog this morning.  But we'll go with the happy thoughts today.

It is a good morning.  No snow, Julianne is happy, and I didn't wake up cranky.  Of course there is still a lot of day left.  Anything could happen.

I was thinking last night about sustainability.  I got an email for a call for submissions to a magazine whose next theme is sustainability.  But does it have to relate only to the enviroment and protecting our renewable resources?  How about sustainability in your life, making sure you do all the right things now so that the rest of your family doesn't suffer later?  It could make an interesting piece I think.  Dealing with emotional, mental and physical well being.  Or how the decisions you make today could affect not only the rest of your life but the lives of others around you., or even how decisions you have made in the past have already affected those you love.  Well I have to think about it a little more and see what transpires, if anything.

For now, I still have a book review to complete and to work on some other pieces that are floating around. But there is always time for something new.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Moody Monday

I think my kitchen is smaller than before.  No it hasn't actually shrunk, but we moved to a bottom floor apartment a month ago and even though the apartment is virtually exactly the same, I swear the kitchen is smaller.  I feel more cluttered than normal everytime I walk in there.  It can never be clean enough or organized enough to make me feel better. 
The bathroom is bigger, but it doesn't help.  The living room and dining room have almost a foot more spaced to them but yet, it feels smaller.  We have started to leave all of Julianne's toys in her bedroom now, and she can play in there, but all the toys still end up out in the living room and it seems even messier than when the toys were left in the living room. 
Every morning I wake  up to find a mess that has not been cleaned up from the night before and on this particular Monday, it's too much.  For some reason, I already woke up cranky, so Julianne's normal run around the house all excited, touching things that she shouldn't, has irritated me more than usual.  The thought of the ever growing pile of laundry makes my head want to explode.  I know it has to get done, but it's another one of those tasks that is practically impossible to accomplish when you have a child that doesn't want to take naps during the day anymore, or when she does, it means she won't decide to go to sleep until really late.  Later than is acceptable for a child of her age.  But what is acceptable, I suppose is the question?
I can't enjoy my coffee in the morning until she has food first.  Everything is about her. Am I resentful? Maybe just a little but it will pass, as will the moodiness I am feeling on this particular Monday.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Too Frickin' Early

It's Sunday morning again.  The wonderful morning I have to get up early and drive my dear husband to work.  I hate Sundays.  I tend to have late nights due to not being able to sleep so when you fall asleep around 3 in the morning, 6am comes way to bloody soon.  I found myself wishing that last night was the time change instead of next weekend, just so I could still that one extra hour.  Although I am unsure on whether that would have made that much of a difference.  But an hour is an hour.  60 whole extra minutes of rest.

Today is somewhat different though as I actually have to be somewhere else in an hour so I would have had to get up early regardless, but not as early.  On the upside, I will be tired tonight.  I hope.  I pray. 

This blogging thing is kind of catching on for me too.  I am pretty surprised that I have remained committed to writing for as long as I have.  In other ways too.  I have actually been writing other stories again...something I have procrastinated on for some time now.  Even submitted a couple of stories.  So unlike me.  So either the blog is helping or I have just found encouragment and motivation again.  Either way, it feels pretty good.  Even though I am so frickin' tired.


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Last night I had this fabulous idea for a blog entry but this morning do you think I can remember what it was?  I should have just done it yesterday when I was thinking about it.  I missed an entry yesterday, the day was just too incredibly busy to get it done.  But that is the way it goes sometimes.

So instead I am left at a loss for an idea to write about.  It's another snowy white Calgary day in October...although we are getting to the point where this is actually normal.  The snow is fallling, thick and wet but it is still warm out so instead of a white blanket on the ground we are left with 2 inches of slush.  Hope your boots are waterproof.

I don't know how long this will last, neither do the weatherpeople.  I understand that it's hard to predict/forcast Calgary weather accurately but our weather people rarely get it right.

Well now I  have something to write about.  HA...My daughter is covered in zinc cream.  I am usually so good at making sure I clean up all her diaper paraphanelia but alas, a few minutes ago I forgot.  So now, she is covered in white cream.  Ok, not right at this exact moment because I was the dutiful mother and cleaned her up before I came to write about it.  Cream on his face, hands, clothes, the floor.  On a good note, when I ran in the room to grab it before she got into anymore, she had put the lid on the container.  What a smart little girl. 

And now she is in the closet.  Do not call Child Protective Services.  No, I do not put her in the closet.  She goes of her own volition.  The jacket and shoe closet mostly.  And pulls out every last shoe in there.  It's a daily game we play.  She pulls them all out, and we put them all back and so it goes, on and on and on.  She has actually found shoes that I wasn't aware I still had.  So is it really a bad thing?  She enjoys it, and it keeps her quiet for awhile.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Something to Write About

Topics to write about do not come easy.  I mull and mull over what amazing words of wisdom I can share with the world, (or just the few that are actually reading this blog).  Words that might inspire, make you laugh or cry, make you roll your eyes due to the shear idiocy of the topic or my ridiculous opinion on a certain subject.  But it's my opinion so deal with it.
Sometimes I might share a bit of something that went on during the day before or some strange occurance in the world around me, something out of the ordinary or maybe not so out of the ordinary but might have struck me with amusement, shock, or horror...or maybe something that is not so surprising at all and was bound to happen eventually.

Take government offices for example.  Everyone has some kind of beef with a government run service and it was only a matter of time before someone was stressed or pissed off enough to take a stand and have their voice heard.  8 people were held hostage in the Edmonton WCB offices yesterday.  For those that might read that and not know what WCB is, Workers Compensation Board.  A governement run service for employees that get hurt on the job.  It's a good service to have, but like any government service, there are bound to be hiccups somewhere in the system.  The only that really surprises me is how the man with gun even got into the building without being noticed.  I have been to the WCB office in Calgary and you can't even get into the parking lot without first speaking to someone.  The front doors are locked so you have to ring a buzzer before you can be let into the building.  From my understanding, the man had a rifle, so how on earth did he conceal that and gain entrance. 
The system isn't perfect, far from it...but when you're hurt on the job and your employer verifies this information, why is it so hard for some people to get what is rightfully deserved by Canadian law?  I don't know the whole situation and why this man went in there but it always seems that the little people get screwed while the big businesses and government just keep on bending us over and get the picture.
We're in the midst of a recession yet the government will spend millions to help out the big businesses that are struggling because they didn't know how to manage their company and be prepared for times like this, they continued to pay their top executives big money so they neared bankruptcy and yet, those people that are now out of a job due to cutbacks, get a measly, 55% of their wage if they apply for Employment Insurance Benefits.  Even a woman on maternity leave only gets 55% of her wage on Employment Insurance. But wait, now the government has extended the allowable weeks for someone collecting EI because of layoffs.  Woo wee, they sure went above and beyond there.

Well, I guess that will be my government rant for the day, well probably for the year...out of shear need to have something to write about today...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Through the Eyes of Child

Remember the days when life was simple, you had no worries in the world except which Barbie to play with today. (of course now Barbie is frowned upon, proving to give children a lack of self esteem)
Sometimes I miss those days.  Naps in the day without anyone bothering you, in fact they wanted you to sleep.  Someone preparing all your meals for you, bathing you, brushing your teeth, and just generally making sure all your needs are taken care of.  Mornings spent watching cartoons, although back in the day I only remember Saturday morning cartoons and now there are cartoons on every morning.  Either I was getting ripped off or times have changed.  Actually, you can get 24 hours of children's programming now.  What does that say about us?  Ok, that's getting a little off topic.

I was watching Julianne and couldn't help but smile at her fascination in our cat, Smudge.  (there is a story behind the name but we'll that for another day).  She waves at the cat as if she will wave back, she chases the cat around and tries to get close enough to touch her but it never happens.  Smudge will have none of that.  She's skittish as is so with a child around, now you see her, now you don't.  But Julianne never gives up.  Smudge will run off to the bedroom and stay hidden for hours and then she will peek her head out again as if to check if the coast is clear.  Then she comes out and Julianne sees her and it's like the cat had never left.  It's amusing to watch.  Julianne doesn't get that the cat doesn't want to be touched and of course why would she, she doesn't even understand that she isn't supposed to change the channel on the TV or turn the computer off while Daddy is using it.  But her persistance is beautiful.  If only we can maintain that much persistance and perserverence in our lives.

Something happens when we reach adult hood.  More than likely the sudden realization that no one is going to do anything for us anymore and the responsibility that comes with being on your own.  We lose that spark that was once strong within us all.  We see all the bad things in the world for what it is and we lose that imagination, that determination, that innocence.

Is there a way to get it back?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Where Does the Time Go?

I was thinking last night about how strange it is that time slies by as we get older.  I remember when I was younger, we're talking pre-teens here, how it seemed that finishing high school was soooooooo far away and I couldn't wait for it to happen but my god, it was years and years away.  Then as soon as you finally get there, the time just starts to whiz by. 

Even more noticeable is the growth of my little girl.  It seems like only yesterday that she was the tiny 6lb 1oz bundle but yet that can't be possible as she almost 14 months old, and 25lbs.  She has personality and attitude, oh does she have attitude.  But she is such a treasure.  Although there are days I could just run away and forget about all of this, all the obligations, I really don't want to miss a thing.  Even the screams and temper tantrums all have their place in the growth of this little human.

I have to remember that.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Julianne back down for nap, don't know how long that will last though.  She is rubbing her eyes so figured now is a better time for her to nap rather than the middle of day because then she doesn't go to sleep at night.
This should be the perfect opportunity to get some things done.  But will it happen?

I am already doing a little laundry so I am part way there.  But the cleaning of other areas of the house, good grief, I did them yesterday, but when I look at it now, it looks like nothing was done.  I get so tired of having to clean and re-clean the same areas of the house day after day.  If only there was a magic button I could push and it would all be done.


Sunday, October 18, 2009

What to do, what to do...

Up bright and early on this wonderful Sunday morning to do the usual drive the hubby to work because Calgary Transit sucks on Sunday.  I hate Sundays for this reason as I have to get up at 6am whether I want to or not.  Don't get me wrong, I am a morning person, just not THAT early in the morning.  So lucky for me, Julianne actually fell asleep in the car on the way home, so I thought "Great, I can put her down for a nap and then catch a few more zzzz's.  This actually did work perfectly.  Well for about an hour.  7:30am she is awake and wants food. 
So fed, changed, watered, yada yada, I am awake and trying to figure out what to do with my day.  I have a list of things that need to get done, things that should get done and things I want to get done.  It's a pretty long list.  Then of course I sit and contemplate what to blog about this morning.  But there is one thing on my mind right now...smoking.
Yes I have vowed to quit smoking.  So I blogged about that on my other blog, which you can see too.  A 365 day docmentation of quitting smoking and today is day 1. See link to the left if you wish to follow that one too, I welcome the support.
So the list today includes:
-Housework: dishes, vacuuming, laundry, clean up baby toys.
-Empty boxes in closet that still haven't been emptied since we moved. 
-Find a home for junk in bedroom. These probably go along with housework but I don't want to add anymore to that particular list.
-Put more pictures on the walls, it's looking a little dull.
-Take Julianne for a walk.
-Deadlines: October 31, short story
-December 31, book review
-December 31, short story
-Do some writing, besides the blogging.
-Vow to stay away from Facebook today.  I admit I am a bit of a junkie and when I am on there, NOTHING gets done.  Probably another part of the reason I don't go to sleep well.

And of course through all of this, chase active baby, keeping her out of things she is not supposed to be in.

Well I guess I better stop blogging and get at it.  The stuff isn't going to get done on its own.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Can't Sleep...Again

So it's 11pm and once again I can't sleep.  I don't know what the problem is.  I have been on my computer most of the evening doing absolutely nothing productive, just playing as usual, when I really should be getting some other work done.  Two deadlines fast approaching and yet, even though I can't sleep, I am not working on it.

It's been months now since I have been able to sleep properly.  I get up early, except for this morning, and still end up staying up late.  When I do feel that I am tired, I can't bring myself to lie down and if I do, I lay awake in bed for hours.  My mind filled with thoughts of all the things I should be getting done or should have done during the day, berating myself for not doing what should have been done and then saying, oh well, I'll do it tomorrow.  And of course, tomorrow comes and still it doesn't get done.  This goes for writing deadlines, housework, shopping, bill paying.  Everything gets put off for another day.  Eventually they do get done, but it's usually all at once or at the last minute and then I am stressed because I know I could have done it all a long time before and I didn't. 

For one thing, I have a hard time sleeping in the same bed as my husband but I think that is only half of the problem.  He is such a bed hog and he snores.  Why can't people just sleep peacefully, quietly and on their own side of the bed.  I make every effort to stay in my own space but he seems to think that my space is also his space.  There are limits people.  I remember growing up, living with my grandparents, they never slept in the same bed unless there was company and they needed to.  Grandma once told me it was because Grandpa slept with his arms behind  his head and she would wake up with a black eye.  I never saw evidence of this when they did share a bed but maybe they were on to something.  Of course, our bedroom is not big enough to fit to smaller beds, the layout is all wrong so I don't think that's an option.  There must be some happy medium.  I get tired of falling asleep on the couch and when hubby falls asleep on the couch, part of me is glad but another part of me misses him being beside me.  I don't know if there is a solution.  Do I just suck it up and do what I have been doing for the past couple of years?  It didn't seem this bad when we first got married but after having Julianne it seems that I feel crowded all the time.  I have always had trouble sleeping but it has definitely gotten worse over the last year. 

Stress?  I don't feel stressed, at least no more than usual but maybe that is it.  I suppose stress occurs more often when you have children, especially young ones. 

Is there a way to slow down the brain so that sleep will come?  Mom has suggested herbal tea which I have tried and it doesn't work.  I can't stand warm milk so that's not even an option.  I won't take sleeping pills, medication is not the answer.  I need to relax. 

Or maybe just stop procrastinating and get the things done that need to be done. 

Now it's 11:20pm.  Wow, 20 minutes of steady writing.  This is rare.

Maybe this blog thing was a good idea after all.


Huh? Twitter?

Maybe someone else can explain to me the fascination with Twitter.  I really don't get it.  So you leave little updates about what you're doing at any exact moment and your friends and followers really care?  Or you follow some celebrity but isn't that almost like stalking?
And this is fun for people???

I had been asked to join Twitter awhile back so out of curiosity I decided to check it out.  I didn't get it then and I still don't get it now.  I went back on there today just to see if now that I was more alert or something I could perhaps figure out the fascination.  I noticed this time around you could add the celebrities or "important people" of the world.  I decided to follow a couple and see what happened.  And the answer is nothing.  Al Gore thanked Barack Obama for something, Lance Armstrong just finished a bike ride (really long one I might add and not the Tour de France) and someone else just didn't make any sense.  I guess I haven't been following long enough.  And the friend that had invited me to join in the first place hadn't done anything in ages so I think she found it as useless as I do. 

But alas, I believe I could be missing something.  The actual functionality or benefit of this service?  So please, if anyone has an idea, do tell.


Saturday Morning, No Sleeping In

Gone are the days of sleeping in late on Saturday mornings. Every since my daughter was born just over a year ago, this once guilty pleasure is a thing of the past. Or so I thought.

6:30am, Julianne screaming for something. Probably food. In the back of my mind I am hoping and praying that she will just find her way back to sleep and let me sleep a little while longer but to no avail. The screaming continues. Does this make me a bad mother to just want to rest at this ungodly hour?
Finally, the guilt overtakes me and I get up just to throw some milk in a bottle and hand it to the demanding toddler. Then I, toddle myself back to bed. Don't worry, I laid awake listening to her gulp down every last drop, careful to listen for signs of choking or anything of that nature.
Once I was sure she was done, and she was nice and quiet, I slowly drifted back to sleep.
10am, she is awake again. This time, although I was still wishing she would sleep, I knew that I couldn't ignore her and got up to begin my day.
This method, although perhaps some would disagree, works very well for me. I need that little extra sleep and she is fully capable, finally, of feeding herself.
Now we sit, I at my laptop, typing away about my morning and her in her high chair, eating up all her toast and grapes. The milk cup and her bowl have now ended up on the floor so I suppose it's time to wrap this up and get her cleaned up.
Oh did I mention that after getting her dressed this morning she got a hold of her toothbrush and decided it was fun to wash it in the toilet? The joys of motherhood continue daily.


Friday, October 16, 2009

Keeping on keeping on...

Day 2 and I am still going strong. I don't know how long I can keep this up but I am sure going to give it my best effort.

So last night I was sitting back enjoying a little Thursday evening television when my husband decided he was going to prepare for our daughters swim lessons. By prepare I just mean getting the bag together with all the things that she would need, ie. bathing suit, towels etc. For everything that he was looking for he would ask...Where is this? Where is that? Seriously, why is it that men don't like to look for things on their own? They always need someone to tell them where it is when really it's in the most obvious spot, her dresser. Where else could it be? I could understand asking where something is after you have already looked in the most obvious places but to not even look first...Or why do men not lift up things to look under them for particular items?
Just one of my little peeves and I guess just another thing that women don't understand about men.
If anyone could shine some light on this, I would be forever greatful.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

Try to focus!

I have been creating and deleting blogs of mine for months now. I start to write something, and do it regularly for a couple of days and then just as quickly I forget about it and voila! weeks or even months go by that I don't write a thing. Now is the time for a change. I am going to commit to writing on the wall for as long as I am still alive. (ok, maybe that is a bit much but, nevertheless, I need to commit for a long time and if there is anyone out there that reads this, maybe you can give me a little 'nudge' if I happen to forget for a day or so.

How hard can it be? A few minutes out my day devoted to writing on a wall. Ha, something my parents always frowned on and now I can do it all I want. Sometimes it's fun being an adult.

You will find many different things on this blog. I don't want to focus on any one subject. Just a free for all. I see many out there that are related to child care, or writing, or beer, who cares, there are numerous types of blogs but for me, it's a just that, writing on the wall. Anything that comes to mind. Unedited and uncensored. Ok well probably a little censored but I will try to be real and free, as that is how we should be, as long as you don't cross the lines to illegal, inappropriate or what have you. Free to be me! Maybe that's what I should have called this blog.