Monday, September 30, 2013

Fear of...

From a writerly perspective, what are you afraid of?

I'm so unmotivated lately to spend the necessary time to finish a project. Sure I can finish my work related projects, or semi clean the house when I need to, but why can't I sit and focus long enough to finish my current stories or the blasted novel I've been plugging away at for the past year?

My crit partner said she's afraid of getting it wrong. Which makes me wonder is it possible to get it wrong? A story that stems from our imagination, purely fiction. Is there a right or wrong way to write a novel or a short story or a poem?

Not long ago I had someone attack me for my stories saying that the weirdness I tend to write must stem from some sick place in my head and what kind of person writes that kind of stuff.

I thought I brushed it off as coming from the mouth of someone who just didn't get it, someone who doesn't understand the creative self and let me tell you, I don't think a creative bone exists in that person, but still...

I'm coming to realize those words bothered me more than I care to admit. And since then I haven't written a lick of anything. Sure I worked on a couple of stories, but as soon as they were criticized in any way, I put them away and haven't looked at them since.

Just writing this, I'm realizing I'm going through a moment...

Revelation, perhaps.

Writing is good for so much.

I taught a workshop this past weekend on redeveloping characters. I was in awe of the writers in this group. They were focused, knew their characters fairly well, and knew almost exactly where their stories were going or if they didn't when they came in, I think they had a better idea when they left, just from talking it out. In some ways I think I was jealous. Seeing all these new writers, still so in love with the idea of writing and having a story to share and not scared to get it out.

Excited and fearless!

I miss that. I need to get it back.