Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Not Enough Coffee In the World...

Julianne is screaming and crying at 8 in the morning.  My sleep deprived body is saying, "Noooooo, not yet."  I straggle to the kitchen, grab her a cup of milk, thrust it into her little hands, and toddle on back to bed, hoping beyond all hope that she will just go back to sleep.
"Yesss...thank you."  I awake again, still not sure if the body is ready to function, feeling sure that only a few minutes has passed.  Much to my surprise, according to the evil that is the alarm clock, it is almost 11:30.  WTF?  Can that much time really have passed? 
Julianne is still in her bed, quiet for the most part but as I listen I can tell she is awake.  I drag myself out of bed and enter her find her...oh for god's sake...completly declothed.  Yep, naked.  She has removed everything.  Sleeper and diaper.  And she is just smiling.  In my sleepy haze I find the discarded diaper, by stepping on it, yep, thank you very much.  Thank god there was no number 2 or this post would have a completely different tone, let me tell you.
Sooo, we get a fresh diaper on her and get her back in some clothes, but not without a lot of resistance.  Fussing, moaning, rolling around, doing everything in her little power to squirm away from me, to avoid the confines of being clothed.  But, mommy succeeds again, after all, even though I am still half asleep, I am stronger...not much mind you, not at this point anyway.
She runs off to the living room, I know she is in search of the next thing she can get her little hands on and it takes no time at all for her to find the object of her desire.  My laptop.  Which in my drunkenesque-like state from the night before, forgot to put away.  Leaving it in the most easily accessible spot for her to get her hands on. And get her hands on it she does.  Unplugs the mouse, and with a phlumph it falls to the floor. 
In that haze between grogginess and fully awake I try to form an action plan in my head.  Try to prioritize what needs to be done in a short time.  This proves to be more difficult than I imagined.  She needs breakfast, I NEED coffee, I need to get my laptop away from her, I need to get her something to drink, I need, I need, I need...for her to stop touching everything.  The TV, the stereo, the computer, climbing the back of the chair until she is ready to go ass over tea kettle, head first on to the floor.  The only thing she is not doing is climbing the f'ing walls.  And I am sure if she could she would.  It's been barely 10 minutes and I am exhausted.  
Ok, Robin, take a deep breath and think.  Coffee...yep, the coffee is coming first.  The laptop is on the floor and it's closed so she can't open it anyway, she is off the chair and trying to turn on the TV, something she does all the time anyway, so my coffee comes first.  Then I will get her food.  Sometimes we have to put ourselves first even if it's only with the slightest action.
Alright, she is eating, I have coffee, I am trying to read recently updated blogs and check my email.  She hits the power button and the computer slowly begins to shut down.  I want to scream, I want to throw the computer against the wall, but I take another deep breath, let the computer come back on, and try not to throw glare darts at my daughter, although they would completely miss her anyway.
I am on to my third cup of coffee this morning as I write this and she has removed everything from the front closet, brought out almost all of her toys, ran her car into the Christmas tree and then tried to give the tree a hug (thank god that thing is coming down today, screw epiphany), opened the dishwasher and began to remove the dishes, thank god they are clean.
I am quickly realizing there is not a enough coffee in the world to get me through this day and why the hell did I choose now to try and quit smoking?


  1. My son knows better than to speak to me before I've been properly caffinated. And the novelty at 5 of eating cereal out of the box sans milk is a very nutritious and effortless breakfast.

    Point 1 mom.

  2. I wish she could understand that...:( I guess I have something to look forward to.

  3. Oh Robin, I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there, I promise it will get better. *crosses fingers*


Send me some love...and I will send some back!