Monday, December 28, 2009

The Brain of a Man ("simple" yet lovable)

I love my husband to death but sometimes he seriously drives me crazy.  It's not his fault.  He can't help it that he is full of testosterone and whatever other hormones make up the human male, making him the way he is.  I think there is some kind of chemical in a man's brain that makes them either lazy or stupid. 
Why is it that all men (and I say all because I have encountered this with every man that has ever been in my life, except maybe one, but I think he was a little bit on the feminine side so probably has a few more female hormones ultimately making him somewhat smarter) have an issue when it comes to looking for something?  They open a cupboard, can't see what they're looking for, ask where it is, you reply, "In the cupboard", he continues to stare into said cupboard, still can't find it so shuts the door and goes and sits down, muttering some kind of expletive under his breath.  You in turn (you being the female) go to that very cupboard, move a couple of things, and voila! there are the toothpicks, right where you said they would be. 
A similar scenario would be said male is looking for something on the table that happens to be cluttered with a bunch of papers (often put there by said male) but the female knows that the object of his desire is on that table underneath the pile of clutter, so again, he asks, you tell him, he can't see it, or moves a paper slightly aside, still can't see it so goes off in some other direction to search for said object.  While he is searching the closets and the bedroom, you actually LIFT the clutter off the table thereby exposing said object.  Do you leave it there in the open for him to now find on his own and feel the glory of success or do you gloat just a little and produce said object exclaiming that it was in fact right where you said it was and if he had taken a little time to actually move something then he would have found it?

I am a woman, I like to be right! 

Men have more muscle mass by nature than a woman, therefore are physically stronger, so you would think that they would want to show off this act of God, this genetic makeup that is supposed to make them just a touch more superior.  It's not like the items are heavy, after all I can lift them, hell my 16 month old could lift them, but yet it's just too much work for them.  If it's not visible, then it must be lost.
Another option would be that this is cruel joke pulled on women, by the creator, (if only we hadn't eaten that damn apple) to remind us that we will always serve our men in one way or another.  Or on the flip side, maybe it's a cruel joke played on men.  Make them just a little bit "simple" so that we have to pick up the pieces. 
I really could go on.  Men and missing the bowl.  I will never get that one.  It's a pretty damn big bowl and a pretty small....(by comparison).  I suppose I could understand if they forgot to lift the toilet seat but that NEVER happens. 
But somehow, among all this madness and frustration, they can be generous, kind, helpful, wonderful husbands, fathers, lovers. 
And we just sit back and chuckle!

1 comment:

  1. Haha. I love this post! And yes to all of the above. Men, they're a weird bunch.; )


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